Lorelie is back, and sharing with us her continuing journey on the path to a healthy life with Weight Watchers.
I went to my fifth Weight Watchers meeting last night. Even though I received a little charm for my first month at my last meeting, I truly consider last night my official first month. It’s four straight weeks of being on plan for me.
It also happened to be a really stressful, incredibly long day that led me to food behaviors I’m really not proud of. Namely sneak-eating.
I had a big thing in the morning, and I planned and allotted for a Starbucks White Chocolate Mocha. They’re my absolute favorite coffee drink, and one of my top comfort foods. I made it last a long time, and really enjoyed it. Still doing okay. But my day got longer, and my stresses added on, and the next thing I know I’m eating a second of these sugar-free, whole-wheat blondies that my roommate made me (they’re pretty awesome, actually). And even the eating of the thing wasn’t so bad.
It was the fact that I didn’t want anyone to see me eating it. That I hid.
I went to my meeting before that. It was a good one, and a hard one. We were exploring Danger Zones. I didn’t mention that mine seems to be a particular corner of my kitchen that’s not visible from the living room. I also bought some of those little WW snack bars, and had two before I came home. Had one in the meeting room, which was fine. But then I had the second in my car driving home, because I knew I wouldn’t be able to have a second *around other people*. Which, you know, ought to be a freaking sign that I don’t need it.
So I got to talk about these things to my Personal Coach this morning, because I just happened to have a call scheduled. So that was *extremely* good. She was able to talk me (mostly) out of my shame self-flagellation. At least I did the best I could, you know? And it’s part of my action plan for the week to try to identify any future moments like this. I’m also supposed to make an “On Purpose” decision, so that I’m owning whatever I end up doing. Whether that ends up being to eat or not.
The irony of all this? At my meeting last night, I’d lost 2.6 lbs. This puts me over the 10 lb mark, for 10.4 in particular. I got little stickers to go on
the front of my weight loss card! That’s nice. The not nice part is that the loss brings me to my previous “highest weight ever” point. So. Losses beyond this will be nice.
I’m struggling very hard with avoiding some of my past behaviors. Number one is understanding that treats should come *after* good nutritional choices, not *instead* of. I also want very desperately to find a weight loss calculator and start putting in figures for my estimated goal date. I hadn’t realized how much of a ritual that was during my previous attempts. I think it’s related to wanting an end. A finish line that I can pin my hopes on. But that’s not the way all this works, is it?
The only “end” I get is settling in for the long haul. The rest-of-my-life kind of long haul.
Thanks Lorelie! We know how you feel–it’s a life-long journey for us, too! We’re looking forward to hearing more from you.